The Separation Anxiety of Lord B, and how we helped him overcome it OR Part Two of the biography of Lord B (it’s kinda long)

If you’re anxious not to have missed out on part one, go here.

18/08/12

Had another good separation today. Daddy away on retreat all day. Boys psycho at Mass this morning due to missing Daddy, I think – psycho as in so loud and uncooperative that I had to stick them in the car so I could have a time out, before I started screeching in the middle of the Consecration or something. Oh boy, I thought, what the heck am I going to do till naptime? Sir A was already tired, but would have to wait till closer to 12 so he was asleep when I put Lord B down. The morning had been wet, and I didn’t have the energy to clean them up after mud wallowing, so playing outside wasn’t an option. I was tired and a bit grumpy. Saturday, so no chocolate (dark chocolate Timtams so don’t count).

Finally got the courage to hustle them back into the car and home. To my amazement they kinda amused themselves when we got home and things were looking up even more when the grandparents borrowed Lord B for a bit and Sir A and I could lie in bed snoozing as long as we needed.

My wonderful friend Penelope Jane came to help with the late afternoon/dinner/bedtime crazy time. BOTH boys were quite happy to hang out with her while I did boring busy things. These are the children who just weeks before were attached to my legs even when there was no one else around and tried to become one with my trousers should a non-familial face appear in the near vicinity.

Lord B stayed with her for the whole time I was feeding Sir A down. Apparently he was getting quite antsy towards the end, but he did so well!

30/08/12

A few days later someone came to see us that he’d never met before. I had to leave the room to go get something and when I came back he was TALKING. No only was he fine, he was having a conversation about his toys. Probably helped that the guy had a 3yo and knew how to converse with one, but still.

He’s got much better with us around the house too. I thought he’d regressed a little yesterday when he got really cross that I wouldn’t go with him to get his pyjamas, and then I found out he was just scared of a fly that was in there. He’s scared of flies. Great. Anyway, he still has his moments of not wanting us to leave a room without him, but he’s also perfectly happy to wander about by himself. Today he was quite happy to stay outside playing while I went inside to the toilet (tmi? get over it) which would have been impossible a couple of weeks ago.

Another thing he did today was pretty amazing. It was the fortnightly “Grandpa at Mass” day, which the boys always look forward to (just to clarify, he does go every Sunday too; just only once a fortnight on weekdays). Usually we’ll go drop Lord B off with Grandpa and take Sir A out the back cos he’s too noisy, with maybe one of us staying with Lord B. Today, Lord B opened the door and waved us away, telling Daddy to “stay with Mummy”. He went in, shut the door, pranced up to Grandpa’s pew, genuflected, and joined him. It was so cute. He looked very pleased with himself. Then his brother tried to copy him, but he was too noisy so that didn’t last long.

As for sleeps, well, we’re getting him to bed earlier in the evening, which is great. It’s still in the lounge, but he’s pretty easy to move once he’s asleep. Actually maybe we should do that earlier – hadn’t thought of that – but it’s not a big deal. He sleeps through a lot.

I’ve devised a way to get him down for his nap if I have to do it when Sir A is awake. It’s called mim, and Thomas on the laptop on silent outside his room. Of course this doesn’t work if Daddy has gone away for the day since he takes the laptop… but it’s a big improvement on what we were having to do. He will go to sleep with just checking on him every few minutes too, so it’s manageable now.

I wouldn’t say he’s all “fixed”. Mostly cos he’s probably always going to be a slightly clingy child. But he’s certainly a lot less anxious these days, and more self confident, and we’re finally getting a fairly decent bit of time to ourselves in the evening. Yay!

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  1. […] suspect that all the issues with being super dependent for those weeks described in previous posts were part of getting there. Retrospect is such a fandangoing fabulous […]



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